While I was buffetted around by the crowd at a Sheryl Crow concert, this phrase came into my head.”Conduit of Joy”. What was that supposed to mean?
Sheryl Crow is of one of my favourite singers. Her authenticity hits me right in the gut. Something about the timbre of her voice makes me go wobbly inside. The harmonies in her songs make me feel like weeping with their beauty. Her lyrics mirror experience and convey deep emotion to me.
Sometimes I have fantasized about being her. In many ways, she expresses what I would be doing with my own singing talent in an alternate universe. She embodies what kind of singer I would be – the type of music she sings, her look, her songwriting, the emotion she conveys.
As I watched her in concert I felt the part of me that was on the stage with her. As she sang, I remembered what it was like to have the Divine sing through me when I was on stage. I got shivers down my spine as she sang “Maybe Angels”. The crowd was pretty sedate except for one guy. He looked like he perhaps he was on something, but maybe he was just high on life. Whatever he was, he was totally in alignment with what Sheryl was delivering. He danced with total abandon. He didn’t give a shit what anyone thought about how he was dancing, what he looked like, or anyone else’s judgements of any kind. He was just grooving.
I was sitting in my seat, dying to start dancing, but I couldn’t quite work up the nerve yet. Then I thought, “If that guy down there can do it, so will I”. I stood up, feeling self-conscious at first. Then as the music moved me, I didn’t really care what anybody else thought. I could feel the energy start moving through me, more and more.
A little while later I saw a guy down the row from me, looking at me intently. It wasn’t a look of desire, or disgust. His look was saying “Oh my God I wish I were free to dance like you. I’m dying to dance but my inhibitions/partner/fear of looking like an idiot are not letting me.” I was kind of freaked out, but then I started feeling real pity. The only thing worse than people thinking you look like an idiot when you’re dancing, is not having the courage to get up and dance at all. What a shame that he cared that much about what other people though, that it prevented him from getting his groove on. After all, Sheryl was only here for tonight.
All of sudden it hit me. I was this guy’s “Conduit of Joy”. He was feeling all the love and alignment of Sheryl’s music, but he just couldn’t express it. I was expressing his feelings as well as my own, through my dancing. Then I thought about the guy on the floor. For awhile, he was my “Conduit of Joy”.
It’s so much easier to imagine how to do something when you have a model. Sheryl was modelling pure joy for the audience, and it was being directly expressed by the guy on the floor. Now I was the model for the guy down my row. We were all modelling joy for each other. We were each slipstreaming for each other, on the Highway of Joy.
Joy is our natural state. If you watch children you know this is true. They can find joy in any activity. We don’t have to make ourselves happier. We have to strip away the crap that we accumulate over our naturally joyful selves and get ourselves back to our natural state of joy.
There is a particular brand of joy out there for you and you alone. The Universe came up with a big hunk of it for you on the day you popped into this world. It’s specifically your brand, it is what you and you alone think is fun, great and lights your fire. Nobody else can get your share of joy and nobody else can express it fully for you.
The “conduit of joy” experience at the concert showed me that we should be “conduits of joy” for each other. It was probably one of the primary reasons we were put on this earth.
So…get a little help to take you to Joy. Pick a lead “joy driver”. This should be someone whose art, music, writing, whatever, makes you feel so excited you think your head is going to pop off. You know who they are. Once this person gets you on the Highway of Joy, you’ll get a clearer and clearer picture of how to get to your own Joy-town. After all, now you are on that Highway and you are in the driver’s seat. You get to decide where you want to go, and which exits you might want to take.
It is your highest duty to yourself, to be your own “conduit of joy”. You are God’s divine expression of Himself. You are made of the matter that created worlds, and you deserve your share of the Joy pie.
Now get in that car and drive! If you look in the rear-view mirror don’t be surprised if someone else is tailing you. :)