What’s the best news I’ve heard so far in 2010? That I’m going to see more of you, and more of myself in 2010!
A new year is a time that is often used for taking stock of one’s life, and how you wish to improve it. Our society encourages us, through our all-pervasive media to measure ourselves against arbitrary standards, which often change by the minute.
This means that New Year’s goals often are goals to become more like “someone else”, someone who might even not exists except in an idealized form. So our New Year’s resolutions can turns into a list of “shoulds”. “Shoulding” all over myself just makes me feel crappy. It usually means that I don’t really care about the task at hand, but I am succumbing to some other pressure that is making me pretend I care about a goal. Then when I don’t fulfill the arbitrary goal I wasn’t even genuinely interested in, in the first place, I feel even worse about myself.
Why should I make myself feel bad about myself? Who benefits from that? Certainly not me.
It has taken me almost 30 years to come to terms with who I am, and to convince myself that the person I am, warts and all, is pretty great. I’ve spent my years self-flagellating myself, trying to make myself thinner, and prettier and more interesting. None of it brought me happiness. And now I’m done.
Has any of this striving really helped? And what cost has this striving come with, how much more unhappy did it make me with myself along the way?
Instead of pursuing goals we really have no interest in, it would be great if the yardstick we could use to measure against is ourselves. If we could ask ourselves “Who am I right at this very second and how can I be more like unique self?”
So, this year I’m pursuing being myself more. I’m asking myself “How can Kara be more Kara-like?”
To that end, I asked myself a bunch of questions. I realized that no question is too trivial, for it’s often in the small details that we start selling out our real selves the most.
All the questions were to help me focus on what are those things – in every aspect of life – that brings me most in alignment with who I feel I really am. Not coincidentally they are also those things which make me feel like I am most in alignment with the Source/Divine/God.
It is also important to remember that the answers must be according to you only. If accounting lights your fire, go for it. The only correct answer is the one that is correct for you, and you only.
Some questions could be:
What things make me feel the most alive?
What daily activities do I do that make me feel the most in alignment with myself?
What makes me genuinely have “my version of fun”?
What colors of clothes make me feel the most vibrant – when people give me the most compliments?
Ask yourself as many questions as you can. You will get clearer and clearer as you go.
My plan is to incorporate as many of these answers about myself – from the most minute detail to the biggest ones – as I can in my daily life. That way I’ll become more and more in alignment with who I am. Before you know it, I might actually be my authentic self, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. That is my goal.
So enjoy YOURSELF this year. You’re pretty fantastic. You deserve happiness, particularly with yourself.
And I know you’re going to like yourself even more when you start doing as much as you can, to fully transform you into your most authentic self.
Can’t wait to see you,
Would you like me to perform a shamanic journey for you to assist with giving you some answers about where to start? Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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