Climb Out Of Your Hole!

Down in a hole, feelin’ so small, down in a hole, losin’ my soul,
I’d like to fly, but my wings have been so denied…~ Alice In Chains

For the past week, it felt like nothing was working out for me.  Work seemed overwhelming, finances tight, the kids were sick, my husband’s business deal was foundering, and I was waiting to hear about some work.  To top it off, I was sick too and nothing seemed to help me recover.  It didn’t help that the doldrums of winter were upon us, a time often difficult enough to get through itself despite anything else happening.

I felt like I had fallen into a deep hole, and I didn’t know how to get out.

It was very tempting to just lay and bed and cry about how things would never get better.  But I knew from past experience that as hard as it was, that wasn’t really going to help me.  I knew that I would have to go inside myself and find my own resources to get out of this deep hole.

It is easy when we are over-tired, and sick to just lose faith and just give up entirely.  Things can seem very bleak, and you wonder if things will ever change. Often in these times we feel unsupported and alone.  Alternating fatigue and hopelessness can turn into a vicious cycle, where the loss of faith and fatigue leads to further hopelessness, and on and on. 

If we want to get out of the hole, we must go within. While I am in this state, even contemplating going within, always seems to be the hardest thing to do.  But from all the times I have ever been in this state, I know that going within is the only key to getting out of the hole.

Here are the steps that got me back on track:

  1. Conserve your resources.

Look after yourself first.  This is very hard to remember when you are already exhausted.  But you have to go right back to the basics of looking after yourself.  Are you hungry? Are you over-tired? Do you need to play?  Listen to your body, and eat, nap and play.

Overextending yourself?  You are in triage mode now, so bow out as gracefully as you can.  Cancelling one social date, or volunteer commitment is not a big deal.

Need to take a sick day, even though the work is piled up to the ceiling?  I’m giving you permission.  If you don’t recover you won’t be able to do the work anyways.  Once your body is feeling better, things look brighter, and less challenging. 

2. Call for help! 

Phone a friend.  I have trouble remembering that I have friends when I am down in a hole.  But friends are very important during this time. 

Friends serve as mirrors to you of your state, and will give you affirmation that you do need to take care of yourself.  Even if you have no love for yourself, they can lend you their love for you.  They can remind you of all the reasons why your life is good.  All of these things will raise your vibration, and get you closer to climbing out of the hole.

Make sure you remember to call them.   

3. Continue to trust in Spirit.

This is a hard one to do, particularly when you are feeling hopeless, and feel like nothing is going your way.  You might even be angry at Spirit for not helping you fulfill your desires.  The first step is surrendering to your circumstances, and asking Source for help. Once this request is out there, keep your eyes peeled for answers — they are on their way.

The next step is being grateful for what you have. Look around yourself, and even if it seems insincere at first, start expressing your thanks for everything around you.  Whatever brings you the least bit of happiness, use it to remind yourself of what you have, and to leverage yourself into a higher vibration. 

Is the sun warming your face? Be grateful for that.  Did you see a photo that made you smile? Be grateful for all these small things, and gradually it will be easier to become aware of and grateful of the big things you have going for you.

4. Listen to your intuition

Try to heed your intuitive urges even if they are very quiet, and especially if your stress and worry has cut you off from them.  Once I had recommitted to trusting Source, even though my trust was low, it was amazing how quickly “little” things started coming into my path. 

A dear friend called with just the right message (thanks Heather!).  I stumbled across blog posts which reminded me what I needed to do. Within a day of my surrender and request to the Source, I was able to find the resources I needed to finally pull me out of the hole.

Colette Baron-Reid, calls this emotional place “the Barren Desert” in her book “The Map”, and describes it in her most recent blog post here.  She advises tapping into the power of your internal reality by comparing it with the characteristics of a desert.

“What wisdom can you glean from the attributes of this environment? If you find you’re in the desert in your life, you must conserve your energy rather than squander it mindlessly on worry and negativity. Savor what you have and practice gratitude for every drop of goodness. You might have to dig deep to get to the nourishment and insight you need, but it’s there…Even though it seems endless, you will eventually leave the desert. If you have courage and continue to be resourceful, you will thrive. You must trust in Spirit; no matter your outer circumstances, the sun is still shining bright upon you!”

I’m so glad that you are here if you needed to be reminded of this too. 

Don’t forget that I can also help you get back in touch with your intuition, if you have lost touch with it.  If you want help determining the next easiest step for you to take, I am happy to give a virtual hand hold while we get you back with your intuition!  

Climbing out of your hole can be much easier and gentler than you think, especially when I can support you.  Email me at, and we’ll work together to get you out of your hole, and back on your path. 

And if I happen to fall into the hole unexpectedly again, I’ll just be able to read this post, instead of sadly stumbling around in the bottom of hole for awhile…

Copyright 2011 : : Conduit of Joy!  : :  Kara Thompson

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4 Responses to Climb Out Of Your Hole!

  1. Awww, welcome back!

    And thanks for sharing your secrets with us. Lord knows we can all use a few from time to time.

    These are all excellent ideas, IMHO. ;-)

  2. conduitofjoy says:

    Thanks Patti! I’m hoping that it might help others, but it’s also to remind me of what I need to do if it happens again!


  3. Sol says:

    What a.. how should I put it.. soothing post!
    I’d agree that it’s important to share yourself with those close to you. I once had a visit from two African men from Cameroon and they told me about the ‘African Way of Life’, where they shared their joy, their pain and feelings in general instead of keeping them bottled up inside.

    I feel that in our society, asking for help and generally expressing your emotions may be considered weak because we’re supposed to be ‘strong’.

    Trusting in Spirit is excellent advice. It has been what has helped me through many obstacles, both mental and emotional. There’s that feeling that you’re not alone and that everything will work out in the end even though we may not see it in our current state of being.

    Take one step (or climb) at the time, and if there might be demons down in that hole trying to pull you down, look for that thing inside (or outside) you, however small, to give you strength.

    An excellent article, Kara! Truly motivational.

    Have a wonderful day!

    - Sol

  4. conduitofjoy says:

    Thanks so much Sol! I’m so glad you found it motivational.

    I sometimes like to discuss the challenges we all face in life, as I often think the focus can be so much on being “positive”, that people might feel there is something wrong with them if they don’t feel 100% happy all the time. Everybody gets off track, that’s just part of the human experience. It’s important to realize that everyone experiences this. I’d love to change the idea that expressing emotions is weak – to me it is my greatest strength (although it took me years to realize this)!

    It is important to remember that we are not alone, and that we have the tools (and they can be simple steps) to get back on our path. :)


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