Who Are Your Other Mothers?

Just recently I had a great reading from a fantastic local psychic-medium.  One of the guides that wanted to communicate with me, was my dear grandmother. She had passed when I was in my 20’s, so it was so nice to hear from her.  I had been thinking about her lots recently (which is incidentally a sign that your passed love one is near you), and I was really missing her.

The reading was fascinating in so many ways, but the information that came through about my grandmother was also soothing, comforting, and reassuring.  It was also healing in some way, as I continue to feel a peace from it that I am still cherishing every day.

When I think of unconditional love, my grandmother is the first person that springs to mind.  She gave me the kind of attention that a child often dreams about, but quite often does not get, even when that child is loved by her parents. Parents are busy people (just ask me!) and don’t always have the time in daily life to listen fully to their children.  In the crush of daily life, as much as it pains me as a mother to admit it to myself, there is not always the time to fully hear and understand the deep thought of a child, or listen for the extra minutes it takes to hear the full particulars of a dearly held wish.  But my grandmother always did that for me.  When you were with her, she focused her attention and love totally on you.  You felt as if were the only person in the world.  And if you mentioned you wanted to do something, she would take to that activity, whether it was golfing, or milking a goat, with unbridled enthusiasm, even if she didn’t like it and never had any wish to do it herself.

Since she lived on a farm, I spent many hours doing physical activities with my grandma. Being a child, I thought it was great fun picking washtubs full of peas, buckets of raspberries, or pulling vegetables out of the garden.  I treasure all those hours I spent with her in the summer sun, the warm skin caressing my skin, listening to the lazy hum of bees, and smelling the sweet hay maturing in the fields.  She taught me so much just by being who she was.  She showed me how nature grounds and heals. She showed me how to intuitively give those you love what they need.  She showed me that the only prime directive you need is love.  She showed me how your inner voice is your truth.

My grandma taught me many domestic arts that my mom didn’t have the time or knowledge to. I learned to crochet, knit, darn a sock, weave, make pie crust, and do laundry by hand.  In fact my grandmother’s hard-working, gnarled, strong, veiny hands, kneading bread dough with the strength of a lumber jack, are one of my oldest memories of her.  The beauty of my grandmother’s hands was in how strong they were, and all the things they did for us.  When she came through in the reading, the medium described how constantly using her hands helped my grandmother soothe herself.  “Your grandmother’s balance and meditation, came when she kneading bread dough, punching it down. She got all her stress and worry out that way.”  Of course, the medium couldn’t have known that this is what my grandma did most every morning. 

Before I went to the reading, I’d been thinking about my grandma continuously for the previous week.  The most amazing message the medium gave me was the message she conveyed about how my grandma thinks about me.  “She sees you through the same lens that you see her.”  That was such a compliment, and such a comfort.  If I could be half as good at parenting my children, that my grandmother was in grand-parenting me, I would feel that I had successfully fulfilled my role as a mother in this life.

Another important message the medium passed along, was one for my own mother, who was my grandma’s daughter-in-law.  Even though I was child, I could feel the unconditional love that my grandma felt for my mother – even though perhaps nothing was verbally expressed.  “She wants you to tell your mother, that she always respected her and thought she was a good mother.”  Often on trips to see my grandma, my mother had mentioned to me how much she admired my father’s mother.  I think my mom will find this message as comforting as the ones I got from my grandma.

So this Mother’s Day, I invite you to think about and thank, not only your own mother, but about the others that mothered you. 

Mothering is a tough job, and I do believe that mothers try to do the best they can, but sometimes that is not enough for their children.  There are mothers that don’t or can’t fulfil the mother role for their children.  But we can always choose mothering for ourselves, even if it is after the fact. Sometimes we don’t get this chance until we are adults.  But whenever and whoever does the mothering, letting others mother us, or mothering ourselves, is something we can do for ourselves, no matter how old we are. 

 This Mother’s Day ask yourself:

Who were your “other mothers”?
What did they give you that your own mother may not have had the time/capability/capacity to give you?

In honor of a day that honors the Mother, take a moment to thank those important people in your life and tell them what an important role they played for you.  If those people have passed, take a moment to reflect on what they did with you and for you, and thank them, and send them your love.  They will hear you, just like my grandma did.  (I love you grandma.)

From my personal experience, I believe that being a mother is the hardest job there is, and yet the most rewarding.  But I also know, that it really does take a village to raise a child, and all of the “other mothers” of that village to give us each child what they need.

Much love to my Mom, and thanks to all the other mothers out there!

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8 Responses to Who Are Your Other Mothers?

  1. Kara,

    It is so great to see you posting :)

    I too had a great grandma (my Dad’s Mom), and I often find that she and my Mom come through together for me. I don’t actually know how they got along while they were here because I was pretty young, but obviously they found each other on the other side.

  2. Megan says:

    Kara, You are a fantastic writer! I love this post. I have always heard about how respected and loved your grandmother was. It is an honour to get a glimpse into how impactful she was in your life. I stumbled across your blog via facebook. Amy mentioned eons ago that you were blogging and it didn’t register with me until now. I’m going to subscribe. I’d love to know more about your intuitive work. There is a whole side of you that I know nothing about. I can’t wait to read more.

  3. conduitofjoy says:

    Julie,

    Thanks Julie! My not posting is more about how many seasonal activities are happening (read: I am a soccer Mom) rather than not wanting to write. I loves the writing! So I’m glad you are still reading…

    Wow, that is so cool about your great grandma and your Mom coming through together! Amazing how any differences on Earth are irrelevant on the other side. There were some other passed relatives in this reading too, which was really amazing, but that is a different post…

    Hope all is well for you.

    Kara

  4. conduitofjoy says:

    Hi Megan,

    So nice to see you here! Thanks for the compliment. This post was a special one because I felt almost like my grandma was really “guiding the pen” when I was writing it. It did reflect my memories of her, but since my connection with her in the reading was so strong, I think that made the writing come through easily.

    A while ago, I read one of your blog posts, and I totally applaud your writing too. It can be so difficult to make time for those things that nourish our soul, especially when we are mothers of small children. But I think it is so important for us to keep ourselves connected to Source with our own creativity. I hope you are able to keep nourishing the writing side of yourself.

    Here is where you will find me fully out as an intuitive, warts and all. The funny thing is that so many people in our family also share these same intuitive skills. Some are open to them and use them all the time, some are afraid of them, but they are totally there. I’m happy to talk to you about anything that I do. It’s funny how very few people I know in “real” life will ask me questions, but I love talking about it. So feel free to ask away! :)

    Hope to see you soon,
    Kara

  5. Great post. I have been thinking about contacting “other mothers” of mine that are still alive and thanking them for their role in my life. Life got busy and I forgot. But this post reminded me to get busy and do it now, even after Mother’s day. I thank you for this.

  6. Heather says:

    Hi Kara,

    Wow! your grandmother sounds like such an amazing person. It’s wonderful that you were able to have someone like that in your life and it’s also really great that she is with you now and helping you in her own way.

    I agree that mothering is one of the hardest jobs I’ve ever had but it’s also definitely one of the most rewarding!!

  7. conduitofjoy says:

    Craig, nice to see you here, and I’m so glad you remembered to contact your other mothers. :)

    Kara

  8. conduitofjoy says:

    Hi Heather,

    Yes, I appreciate today more than ever what an amazing woman she was. It is so comforting to know that she is still helping me out, and facilitating healing for me even now.

    I agree that motherhood is the most rewarding job. What else could give me the same kind joy and satisfaction (to go along with the tiredness)?

    Kara

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